Surely Not From An Oxford Student? That’s Just Not Cricket.

In a world of mean streets, ruthless knife crime and youthful uprising, we’re reported to be living in a nation run by our youth. In full concentration on the ‘hoodies’ and ‘yobs’ our country fears and blames for it’s social implications, we may be targeting the wrong stereotype. Then again, who ever heard of a rogue ‘poshie’?

If you’ve ever had the displeasure of watching Menhaj Huda’s gritty drama Kidulthood, you’ll have grasped the social concept that Huda was portraying in his film. Britain, for whatever reason, is slowly descending into the quasi-control of our teenagers. With a steady rise in knife crime, recreational drug use and teenage pregnancy rates, the government is straining it’s resources on turning our state comprehensives into rehabilitation centers of the socially unable.

Here’s my problem. While these ‘yobs’ patrol the streets at night with a bottle of Smirnoff Red in one hand, and concealing a kitchen knife in the other, they must, at some point, realise that their social power is limited. Yes, Britains youths may smash the social conventions and reject national authority and discipline, but they’re just banging at the door. Without the keys to the engine room, the cognition of our country will run as efficient as a 4-6-0 Grange class steam locomotive. Well, no, actually. My fear is that we’ve been aiming at the wrong dart board, and our problems do not lie with those who attend Parklands High, Liverpool, but those who dwell in the historic corridors of Eton. In stamping on the ‘hoodies’ and ‘yobs’, the ‘poshies’ have worked their way around the system.

Comedian and Frest Meat star Jack Whitehall is a prime example of the threat our nation has remained oblivious too. Whitehall’s character, JP, in Fresh Meat is portrayed as an acid taking, binge drinking, sexually allusive loner. For those who have not watched Fresh Meat, JP does not stride around with plasters on his face with the sun reflecting on his gold teeth. Instead, he wears a burgundy Harbridge gilet, and carries a fountain pen in his shirt pocket. Conventionally, we picture ‘prepster poshies’ as having a combed quiff, smelling of leather and rowing everywhere in a perfectly synchronized formation. But no. It’s not Snoop Dog we should be blaming, it’s Vampire Weekend.

Regrettably, JP, as a media representation of youth, mirrors what’s happening behind the gates of Cambridge, Oxford and London. Our prestigious triangle is being abused beyond belief at the hands of the ‘poshies’. These middle-class social vigilante’s have been sitting on the old functionalist trophy shelf, planning their attacks within our strict social system. One explanation to this phenomenon, I feel, comes from their family and upbringing. Stemming from middle-class, privileged families, it can be hard to find time to spend with your parents. Typically hard working personality type A’s, recreational negligence becomes a factor for many middle class children, as their parents thrive in their top jobs. As they grow older, more and more expectation binds itself to the individual, leaving the pressures too great. In protest, the ‘poshies’ avoid rejection of their parents due to the resources they provide, and they use the rest of society as their bobo doll waiting to get battered.

By ingesting hard drugs, sampling the delights of the opposite sex and having a stable financial status, the rest of societies morals remains ignored and taken for granted by these individuals. While the rest of the nation homes in on the ‘yobs’, the ‘poshies’ go by playing polo through the halls of Cambridge without fear of detection or punishment. This issue has been brought up in further British media. In the 2005 British film Green Street, Matt Buckner, played by Elijah Wood, is expelled from Harvard University in America after cocaine, that was actually the possession of one of his peers, was found in his room. These may be vague media representations, but they must have been exhausted from valid external sources.

Self destruction, social ignorance and narrow mindedness from the polo wearing Jack Wills fan club is what potentially may be awaiting our government. After all, David Cameron was a product of middle-class Eton college and Oxford University, as are many of the Conservative party. In a country that demonises the working class youths as walking ASBO’s determined to destroy the fabric of our nation, we are turning a blind eye those with actual power and influence. And we are relying on the very people who are carving a social divide of classes to fix the problem we have with youths in Britain today.

According, Oxfords finest offspring, with their positive media perceptions and unflappable tolerance and social skills, they’re the perfect candidates to rule our country. Those who claim to be tackling the social problems we are facing, seem to the ones creating the problems in the first place. Coincidence? I think not.

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