They can be inspiring, meaningful, or just plain offensive. Band names, the entity of a group.

Each band chooses a name for a very specific reason, whether that is to leave a social mark on your target audience, to contrast your labeling with your music, or even to cause a sense of dire panic and fear to the public. So, what are the best and the worst band names?

Behold… The Arctopus. Unimaginative, corse, cliche avant-garde metal. Looking at their name, the clanking bells of the anti-climax chime without anything obscuring the horrendous nature of the name, and the band. Behold… one of the worst band names, and bands, remarkably still on the underground music scene today.

 A History Of Apple Pie. Cute and adorable, although a bit weird. Yeah, put nicely I think for this band. Some might say that a little bit of individuality in a band name is a good idea, others not so sure. As for the band? Feedback wrangling, snare beating British indie-pop if I ever I heard it.

Death From Above 1979. One album, one split, and one incredible Reading Festival reunion. Secret to the Canadian duo’s success? Bloody good band name. Rock and roll has never sounded so over done but so, so right. Definitely a good road to go down if you want to form a punk rock outfit. Reference a life stage and stick a really good year on the end of it.

 

One Direction. You really can’t get more annoying. Acne ridden, suede wearing boy bands that point and throw their arms every which way, and managing to not take anyones eye out. We want beehive beards and sweat under saggy man breasts with broken guitars and a really fucking long set list full of songs no one knows. One direction? Yeah, straight into the bargain bin at WHSmith. Cliche name, to say the least.

Anaal Nathrakh. Jesus. Extreme metal bands never really got the concept of subtlety when it came to decided on a band name. Napalm Death know what I’m talking about. It’s almost like Anaal Nathrakh picked their name purely because it sounds a bit metal. Well, lets give them the benefit of the doubt and say all the good names were taken.

Suuns. Looks like you need to be tripping out and covered in candle wax and End Of The Road Festival to be able to pronounce it properly. All in all, a very simple name. But it looks good, sounds good, and suits the tripster, electro-folk quartet to a tee. From Canadian Zero’s, to indie stars. No pun intended.

 Hoobastank. Never really quite caught on. The American rockers tried choosing something that no one really knew what it was or what it did. Sadly, it kinda back fired and got people researching what a Hoobastank was instead of actually listening to their music. I still haven’t found out where the word originated from. Sounds a little bit like a Cockney commenting on the leaky sewage pipe down his street.

 

Cerebral Ballzy. Taken from a drunken pizza mishap and a simple Americanism, thus the greatest, and worst band name ever came into popular passing. Everything about it is punk. The phonetics, the spelling and testicular reference. We salut you lads.


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